Financial Times, 27 August 2021

Ed Balls’ fantasy dinner — steak teppanyaki with Gordon Brown, Janet Yellen and Chrystia Freeland

by Ed Balls

I loved working dinners during my time at the British Treasury: our counterparts across the world showcasing the very best dishes their countries had to offer at meetings of the European Council or the G20; lunches at 11 Downing Street welcoming foreign dignitaries; or slap- up meals at official functions in the City of London. For any of that to be part of my official job was a dream come true.

But I quickly learned a sad truth. For everyone else on the international economics circuit, the food was a side show. At best irrelevant. Sometimes an unwanted distraction. On occasion even withheld to force a deal. So my fantasy dinner party will break that mould. I’m inviting a series of economic luminaries. But this time the food will be centre stage; and I'm doing the cooking. 

Gordon Brown, Britain's former prime minister and finance minister and my first guest, hated the food on offer at official meetings. For him, it was usually a nightmare of tiddly starters, haute cuisine main courses and fancy desserts. Fortunately, one good thing about having an intense personality like Gordon’s is that he could happily spend half an hour ignoring his Fugu sashimi or Matsutake mushrooms at the G7 dinner in Tokyo, while talking vigorously to his neighbour from Canada about the need for reform of the World Bank. When the offending dish was taken away untouched, it would just be written off as more evidence of how driven Gordon was by his work, not as some flagrant rejection of Japanese hospitality. 

To placate Gordon, the main course will be beef. But I will have to think hard about how to please him (preference, very well done) and my other guests (rare to medium). Back in the 2000s at an IMF Finance Ministers’ lunch in Washington, Gordon was chair so I was occupying the UK seat. There was a big debate round the table about whether the US was wielding too much power on trade and quota issues and needed to accept that emerging market economies should have a stronger say. Next to me, I could see French finance minister Nicolas Sarkozy growing increasingly angry and animated. Eventually, he leaned over to me and rasped: ‘This is ridiculous, these Americans, do they know what they are doing? This is no way to run things.’ I listened intently, waiting for him to expand on his views on trade reform, but he just gestured angrily towards the well-done steak on his lunch plate. ‘Do they expect us to eat this?’

The pre-dinner drinks also need carefully handling. At the height of the 1998 Asian financial crisis, we flew out to Tokyo for talks with my second guest, Japanese finance minister Kiichi Miyazawa. We had extensive discussions with Finance Ministry officials but eventually we did see the minister for dinner that evening, and it became clearer why his officials were doing the negotiations for him. In a beautiful Chinese restaurant, the old chap – already in his late seventies and tired out from a day sitting in the Japanese parliament – had a couple of scotches, picked at his food and then promptly fell asleep. We were worried he was ill, but two of his aides came in, took an arm each, carried him out, and returned to tell us the dinner was over and to wish us a good night.

Thankfully, going late into the night won’t be necessary - without the political imperative to keep the politicians in the room as long as it takes to reach a compromise. Back in1998, during Britain’s presidency of the EU, Tony Blair was chairing a lunch meeting of leaders and finance ministers to decide who was going to be the first head of the European Central Bank. As the German representatives fell out publicly among themselves, the ‘lunch’ meeting dragged on all through the afternoon and evening and eventually to 10 pm. The mood among the frustrated, fatigued and famished leaders rapidly turned to mutiny, with the Belgian prime minister and my third guest, Jean- Luc Dehaene – who looked like he had a good appetite – trying to lead a walkout to find some dinner. Around an hour later, with the lunch still not cleared, their anger turned to desperation and a fudged compromise was finally reached. I’m inviting Jean-Luc, although I fear he may say no. He hasn’t forgiven the British, and not just for that evening.

My fourth guest is former Federal Reserve Governor and now US Treasury Secretary, Janet Yellen, the first woman to hold either post, let alone both. In her honour, I’m taking over the kitchen of a local Washington DC restaurant, just round the corner from the IMF. Kinkead's, sadly long gone, served lovely lobster rolls, fine crab cakes and a sumptuous Boston clam chowder, rich and creamy with a lovely clammy tang. I will re-create that chowder as my starter, followed by individual Gruyere and Thyme soufflés. But to keep my guests focussed on IMF quota reform. I’m eschewing French white burgundy for a Chilean Sauvignon Blanc. For the main course, I'm going for steak cooked at the table - Teppanyaki style - to allow my guests to opt for medium rare while Gordon discreetly chars his beef. It will also give Kiichi something to do to keep him awake. Following my Chilean nod, I'm going Haut Brion with the steak and the French cheese selection.

My final guest arrives late. Typically. Back in the early 1990s during my FT days, I visited the Ukraine regularly to write about Soviet demilitarisation and economic reform with the paper's Kiev correspondent, Chrystia Freeland - and to dine nightly on borscht, potato pancakes and varenyky dumplings. Chrystia is now Canada's deputy prime minister and finance minister and, in her honour, I'm serving my guests pampushky, a typical Ukrainian dessert of sweet donuts tossed in sugar washed down with throat-burning horika. I do hope Chrystia will approve. I'd better learn the recipe.

Ed Balls is a broadcaster, economist and former U.K. cabinet and Chief Economic Adviser to the Treasury. His new book ‘Appetite: a memoir in recipes of family and food’ is published by Simon & Schuster